Mac or PC? Fess up, no need to be ashamed. You use a PC like the rest of us, don’t you? Fact is, every operating system is different, and every user needs something different to fit his/her needs exactly. That’s why there are so many different options (I mean, besides just bilking us for more money). Of course, with each new system come new problems as well. Nothing is perfect after all. Now the airlines are all in trouble. The government is bailing them out for now, but they really just need a change of leadership… So what happens if the operating system manufacturers built and ran airlines instead?

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines…

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on…

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don’t need to know, don’t want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

OSX Air:

You enter a white terminal, and all you can see is a woman sitting in the corner behind a white desk, you walk up to get your ticket. She smiles and says “Welcome to OS X Air, please allow us to take your picture”, at which point a camera in the wall you didn’t notice before takes your picture. “Thank you, here is your ticket” You are handed a minimalistic ticket with your picture at the top, it already has all of your information. A door opens to your right and you walk through. You enter a wide open space with one seat in the middle, you sit, listen to music and watch movies until the end of the flight. You never see any of the other passengers. You land, get off, and you say to yourself “wow, that was really nice, but I feel like something was missing”

Windows Vista Airlines:

You enter a good looking terminal with the largest planes you have ever seen. Every 10 feet a security officer appears and asks you if you are “sure” you want to continue walking to your plane and if you would like to cancel. Not sure what cancel would do, you continue walking and ask the agent at the desk why the planes are so big. After the security officer making sure you want to ask the question and you want to hear the answer, the agent replies that they are bigger because it makes customers feel better, but the planes are designed to fly twice as slow. Adding the size helped achieve the slow fly goal.

Once on the plane, every passenger has to be asked individually by the flight attendants if they are sure they want to take this flight. Then it is company policy that the captain asks the passengers collectively the same thing. After answering yes to so many questions, you are punched in the face by some stranger who when he asked “Are you sure you want me to punch you in the face? Cancel or Allow?” you instinctively say “Allow”.

After takeoff, the pilots realize that the landing gear driver wasn’t updated to work with the new plane. Therefore it is always stuck in the down position. This forces the plane to fly even slower, but the pilots are used to it and continue to fly the planes, hoping that soon the landing gear manufacturer will give out a landing gear driver update.

You arrive at your destination wishing you had used your reward miles with XP airlines rather than trying out this new carrier. A close friend, after hearing your story, mentions that Linux Air is a much better alternative and helps.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, “You had to do what with the seat?”

It was extremely difficult for equity investors to make money in the decade following the June 1932 bottom. After the three-month rally (+75%) off the bottom in 1932, equity markets were extremely volatile and largely sideways for the next nine years. Keep in mind that the jury is still out as to whether the March 2009 lows were in fact the bottom, as was the case in 1932.

Generally, we find such failed "analysis" takes the form of:

"In 19xx, the ____ Index dropped __ % over __ months, _________ economic indicators were _________, so judging from history, we conclude that now, we should expect X, Y and Z..."

Now, were conditions today exactly, or at least mostly the same as they were during previous recessions/depressions, I could see how this sort of analysis might make sense. Contrary to the claims of others, I think its quite clear that global (and regional) dynamics and fundamentals are materially different than they have been at any earlier period of human history, which means these analyses constitute at least one type of logical fallacy, and are thus of little or dubious value. No doubt, I'm guilty of some of these myself, but that's another story altogether.

I won't go so far as to claim that such claims are useless, since they may reveal some information about investor behavior and psychology, which is for the most part unchanged over at least the past few centuries. However, this is hardly a redeeming quality of these poorly conceived - and even more-poorly used - forms of analysis.

No doubt both those who present and heed these arguments are suffering from at least one form of cognitive bias, although both are similarly blissfully ignorant of their own psychological predispositions and the like.

I'm of the belief that such forms of analysis - and those who propagate their use - do more harm than good insofar as almost any conclusion reached is, at best, a non sequitur, and may introduce or reinforce false beliefs to the investor population.

Alas, despite the painfully obvious errors inherent in such comparisons, I still see them far-too frequently, in places and from people who should know better.

Tip of the hat to those who avoid such poor analysis, wag of the finger to those who don't!

Once upon a time there was fun and college and everything seemed like it would go one the same way forever. You'd whisper secrets in the dark with friends, about who wanted who. What she was wearing. Where to road trip to. Adulthood, while looming large, still seemed a long, long way off. So you are cruising, feeling like the world is your playground, and you are still as immortal as you were in ninth grade. And then it happens, you are out somewhere, with friends, and someone says those three words:

"We're getting married."

She's talking too fast and he has his arm around her shoulders, and they are both proud. They have expectant faces because they are waiting for their congratulations. I said the first thing that came into me head, spitting the words through my mouthful of chicken fingers.

"Holy crap," I yelled and everyone turned around to look at me. "Congratulations," I say then to cover my tracks, maybe a little too loudly, but I've already done it. I've already shown my true feeling: shock.

The girls (I mean the girls who aren't me, the real girls who know how one is supposed to react to that sort of news) are cooing and giggling. The future bride is gobbling this up, basking in the warmth such news will cause, making everyone everyone else's girlfriend. Looks are shot around the table between the men, and myself. They say many things with their eyes. More than a few echo my original sentiment. Some are cynical. Some of the girls get depressed. They are thinking about the fact that they don't even have boyfriends. The future husband is oblivious to all of this. He is looking at his bride.

Why are we so shocked? Why does the news evoke so many different emotions in so many people? Just minutes before I had been telling sick jokes and there had been a raucous debate on whether "hooking up" is cool. Just minutes before we had been kids. It didn't matter if I clock in as the youngest at twenty-two. Or that we are all college graduates (or should be). There was nothing to differentiate us from any other group of students.

When your first set of friends gets married, it marks a turning point. Suddenly your friends are old enough to be married, which loosely translates to you being old enough to be married. Which again means that you are old enough for a lot of other things, too. Kids, mini-vans and mammograms. A real job.

None of us have any of these things yet. Some of my friends haven't even finished school. Many of our cars are falling apart, and most of us still live at home. Then our friends announce their engagement and we all wonder: Is there something wrong with the schedule we are on? Should we be finding mates? Is it time to buckle down and grow up? This idea scares us. We want to go on road trips and drink until we throw up. We want to spend weekends high. Married friends threaten our way of life because they make us question our current existence.