Tragic reflections mark my disappointment
I am

Unstable
Lachrymal
indisposed in my mordent resentment

unforgiving
unrelenting
the everyday thoughts of my loss

vivid and long-enduring memories of the past
flood my being

anger fuels my soul
my becoming is unreal

found discreetly crying
stumbling toward the Hell of mental collapse
over the securities I lack but demand

dejected by God
undemining regret
my patterns of thinking become more decrepit

confused and homesick
overwhelming disbelief

driven to covet
all the little things that remind me
of this shattered dream from which I awoke

unable to concentrate on anything but the lies
watching my accomplishments become what I despise

my heart - every beat hurting

only to
mindlessly self-reflect
as if I'd find the reason

treading over the fragmented pieces of hope
scattered all around me

immobilized by the realization of intention
& the future I'd be suffering

I feel it
this life

ripped from my sanctum
sick in my sadness

and I won't forgive
but I learn

a little over-protective and obsessive
because I'm scared

but I'm here

my mind - my fist
rightfully the reason
you should consider the consequence
when you say
"What if..."